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About: On a rare night to themselves, Spike catches Buffy in the middle of a very personal act in a room that he swore he would never enter again.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Language, explicit sexual content, voyeurism

Original Publication Date: 2007

Revised Edition: 2021


So, I wrote this fic in 2007, when I was 22 years old. Fast-forward to 2021, and it’s absolutely not the sort of story I would write now. I find the premise troubling and Spike predatory (and not in a sexy way), especially given the characters’ history and what happened in the bathroom. That wasn’t my intent, though, and all I can say is I know better now. That said, it is a fic I wrote and a good overall representation of how my style and definition of acceptable lines evolved over the last fourteen years. It’s also one with a premise I can’t really rework without tossing the whole fic out. This is hardly the first problematic fic I’ve reworked and it won’t be the last.

I say all this as a disclaimer to the story itself. Those people who still read this story and love it in spite of (or hey, even because of) these issues, I dig you. YKINMK (anymore) but that’s no reason why we can’t be friends.

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